Duplicity Inbox

[domainless]

Martin is away from the phone right now. Pleas leave a message and he'll get back to you.

Comments

[domainless]

Enjoy! And Happy Christmas to you too. Here's to a hopefully better year.

[domainless]

Yeah, Yeah I'll make one.

[He goes to grab Tim a beer first, and brings it back with an empty glass and a glass of water, then goes to put on the kettle.]

Have you eaten anything recently?

[alwayskayaking]

[He looks from his beer to the glass. Pouring it seemed like so much work to pour it right now, but he finds the energy to be some what civil. Pouring the drink into the glass before taking a sip.] No, I was waking her up for breakfast. Or, well, I was trying to wake her up.

[domainless]

Okay. I'm going to make some... toast? Is toast okay? Or I could cook eggs if you have some?

[It is oh so easy to fall back into caretaking.]

[alwayskayaking]

Yeah, sure. [He vaguely waves towards the kitchen.] Bread should be on the counter and eggs in the fridge.

[domainless]

Right.

[He hesitates, not looking away from Tim for a moment before he sighs and goes to make some food. Eggs are easy food, quick to cook, quick to eat, easy to digest. He's made them a hundred times for mum before- It's familiar.

He brings out a plate a short while later and sets it in front of Tim.]

[alwayskayaking]

[By the time Martin returns with food, Tim has picked up the photo album on the coffee table. Flipping through photos of him and Sasha together. When she was awake instead of being cursed by the city to sleep without end.

He does at least glance up when Martin brings the food around. Setting the book aside to glance at the eggs that have been made just for him. He really didn't want to eat it, but it would be rude not to. After another brief pause he finally reaches for a plate with a soft: thanks. Taking a few unenthusiastic bites.]

text; un: ShowStopper CW: Link contains art that is NSFW

[alwayskayaking]

[After texting Jon about a valentines he thinks he received in error, Tim decides to text Martin as well.]

Quick question. Did you happen to send Jon a, let's say, SAUCY valentines day card?

Re: text; un: ShowStopper CW: Link contains art that is NSFW

[domainless]

Uh... no. Why?

[alwayskayaking]

No reason, but if Jon asks you about a card I got? You can tell him I destroyed it.

[That's not ominous or something to be worried about, right?]

[domainless]

Tim what happened?

[alwayskayaking]

Nothing, nothing! I think Jon just sent me something by mistake and doesn't want to admit to it is all!

Also, tell the man to get more sleep. You deserve someone who can give you their full attention when you've asked for it.

[domainless]

Okay, if you say so.

What's that supposed to mean? Jon always needs more sleep, can't deny that but he's good at giving me attention when I want to talk to him.

[alwayskayaking]

But what about PHYSICAL attention?

[domainless]

We hug, and kiss and sometimes sleep together at night.

[domainless]

[That's something at least. Food helps, he knows from experience. It doesn't fix things, but it dulls the grief and hurt, just a bit.

He gives a small smile and then goes to sit nearby, not touching but just there.]

[alwayskayaking]

And is that enough for you? [He probably shouldn't be needling at this, but he can't help himself. Deep down he thinks Martin can do better than Jon. Even if he thinks Jon may implode without Martin.]

[alwayskayaking]

[Slowly he chews on his a bite of food. Much longer than it should take to chew down a piece of egg and toast while he stares at the photobook he had set down.

Finally he swallows it down.] What-- what am I going to do? How am I supposed to help her if she wakes up remembering how it feels to die? Not even just die, but what that thing did to-- [His voice breaks and his brings up a shaking hand to cover his mouth for a second. When he speaks again its that with a hint of anger behind it.] What if she's not really dead? But... between that. How can I possibly help her if that happens?

[domainless]

Yes.

Look, I know you don't like him, but I love him. And it's great getting to have that here. We only got 3 weeks at home, before the world ended.

[alwayskayaking]

It's not that I don't like him! It's just that Jon can be difficult. I worry he takes advantage of you. Relationships goes two ways and I mostly just hear how he takes from you. I don't often hear about what he gives back in return.

[domainless]

You mean, besides literally saving my life?

He's- he's affectionate, just not always in public. And- have you really never seen him when he's being just- soft? When he looks at me like I'm the most important person in the world.

[domainless]

You be there for her. Like I know you would be anyway. You touch her... or don't touch her depending on if she wants it. And you take photos and recordings together if it helps.

[alwayskayaking]

Jon? Soft? Not really. [Although there was that time he walked in on a session with Peter...]

There is more to love than saving someone's life. You think because I think of you as a friend and not a lover means I wouldn't try to save your life?

But if he really is soft when you're alone together? Then I guess I have to take your word for it. I just worry about you, Martin. I know how good you can be at giving until there is nothing left to give.

[alwayskayaking]

"I actually already do that." Setting his plate of food down, Tim stands up and moves towards their modest bookshelf. Picking up a journal from it and handing it over to Martin to look through if he wants to. It's filled to the brim with little entries all about his memories of Sasha. A few photographs are taped into the pages as well. "I suppose... maybe we can read this together. If she wants to."

Tim glances down the hall where their bedrooms are located. Shifting on his feet a couple times before he finally asks. "Did you want to see her?"

[domainless]

Even if I'd ignored you or told you to fuck off for the better part of a year after you woke up from a six month coma?

...sorry, that's not fair of me.

And he is. Honestly, he's terrible at asking for things and worries too much about if he's taking advantage.