Duplicity Inbox

[domainless]

Martin is away from the phone right now. Pleas leave a message and he'll get back to you.

Comments

[domainless]

[Looking at the distorted text makes Martin feel a bit dizzy, the weight of eyes suddenly pressing against him.]

I know. I know and it was awful but... I'm back and I just- what if they try to do that permanently as punishment?

cw: mild self-harm; suicidal ideations

[compellingstatement]

[The idea of it happening again makes Jon want to throw something. He quickly discovers that everything in the cell is bolted down. He's able to throw... his balled-up sheets. There's absolutely nothing satisfying about that, so he sets to biting at his fingers, instead for some sort of outlet. It's a few minutes later when he replies.]

Then I'd want someone to kill me.
Because that wouldn't be me.
It's just a Not-Them roaming around in my skin.

[He already has enough issues with feeling wrong in his skin on a good day. Having everything about him fundamentally changed is possibly the most horrific thing that's happened to him here. At least at Camp, he'd still been some part of himself, even without the Eye.]

Re: cw: mild self-harm; suicidal ideations

[domainless]

[That thought makes Martin's hands start to shake, and he can't reply for a little bit. It's not like he hasn't ever thought about it, in the apocalypse. What if the thing to restore the world is killing Jon? The lives and sanity of everyone in the world weighed up against Jon's life.]

Then don't give them a reason to, Jon! Don't- don't put killing you on me. On- on Morrigan or your friends. Please.

[compellingstatement]

[Frustration claws at him. That he's so tied down to people that he can't breathe.]

I won't put it on you.
I'll talk to someone else and arrange for them to do it.

[domainless]

Oh no. No, you are not hiring an- an assassin to take you out.

[compellingstatement]

It's not hiring someone.
It's ensuring I don't have to have you deal with me if I ever give in entirely to the Watcher.
Or if something like this happens.
I've had agreements like that before here.
The people they were with are gone now.

[domainless]

If you can survive into the bloody apocalypse without giving in to the Ceaseless Voyeur, then I'm not worried about it happening here.

And- what if they kill you and- and then everything gets fixed a few days later?

[compellingstatement]

Then I'll probably be resurrected after it ends.
I've already died here, Martin.
More than once.

[domainless]

I hate that you've been through enough that you can say that easily.

I don't want you to die, Jon.

[compellingstatement]

I know.
But I don't want to live like that.
I don't want to live without loving you.

[domainless]

I love you too. I do.

Just... don't do it recklessly, okay? You can't just throw your life away.

[compellingstatement]

All right.
I promise I'll check with you next time before trying something like this.
I just don't want you getting in trouble along with me if it comes to it.
You can remember you're more vulnerable than I am, right?

[domainless]

Thank you.

And hey, we- you and me together. That's the deal.

[compellingstatement]

You're getting a rotten deal.

[domainless]

Not if it's you.

I get to decide that for me, Jon.

[compellingstatement]

[Jon sighs to himself.]

Have I mentioned you're disgustingly romantic at times?

[domainless]

Might have come up.

You're welcome :)