Duplicity Inbox

[domainless]

Martin is away from the phone right now. Pleas leave a message and he'll get back to you.

Comments

[domainless]

[It hurts to hear it, although not necessarily in a bad way. It hurts like lancing a wound, but also like a bone deep ache because Jon deserved better. He'd always deserved to have things that made him happy. Just being made tea shouldn't be a big deal.]

It sounds nice Jon but- I don't even know where to start. This is the most people I've interacted with in years honestly.

The Institute really did a number on us all.

[compellingstatement]

It did.
I'm sorry, Martin.

What can I do to help?

[domainless]

It's fine. I'm fine, really.

And besides, you're kind of stuck in a prison cell. Shouldn't I be the one trying to help you?

[compellingstatement]

You're not fine.
I'm just stuck in jail.
Do you need me to introduce you to people?

[domainless]

Oh god that just makes me feel like a charity case. Or like- like I'm moving to a new school and have to introduce myself to the whole class.

[compellingstatement]

Martin, I want to introduce you to my friends.

[domainless]

...right. You're right. I guess it can't hurt to be be introduced to people.

[compellingstatement]

It can't.
You do have to make quota, and I know I'm not much use for it.
Sorry.

[domainless]

I hate that things are dictated by quota.

You know it's not- I love you. And not being into sex doesn't change that. You know that, right?

[compellingstatement]

I know.
I love you, too, and none of it would even matter if we weren't here.
But we are, and it's something I should be helping you with.
I don't know.
It's not awful, I guess.
I can do more of it if it would make you happy?
I liked seeing you smile when we were doing the painting thing.
That was nice.

[domainless]

You make me smile a lot, Jon.

I did like that. I liked seeing you lose control a bit, and know it was something I'd done. But I don't want that if you hate it. I want you to feel good if we do things, not just suffer through it.

cw: reference to aphro, dubcon, and noncon

[compellingstatement]

I don't know.
It's hard to tell if I like it or not when there's usually aphrodisiacs.
The only other times I've lost control like that without them have been rather...
Fraught experiences.

It's all just a lot at once, difficult to process.
Maybe that's the point?
I feel best when I don't end up having to think much.
But it's hard to let go of thinking.
I'm sorry, Martin.
This isn't helpful.

Re: cw: reference to aphro, dubcon, and noncon

[domainless]

No, no it's good! It's good to talk about it. We probably should talk about it properly.

Maybe when you aren't in a prison cell.

[compellingstatement]

[The response is a while in coming.]

Maybe.
Someone magicked himself into my cell to get rid of the spiders.
I think that might help with sleeping, so I can stop bothering you.
I told him I'd be his slave for a week for the favor.
So, I'll have to deal with that in the next while.
Just so you're aware.

[domainless]

What the fuck Jon!?!?

[compellingstatement]

It's fine.
He just wants someone to cook and clean for him.
We've done this before.

[domainless]

THAT DOESN'T MAKE THINGS BETTER JON.

[compellingstatement]

He came to get rid of the spiders.
And he's one of my victims, Martin.
I had to give him something.
I was the one who suggested it.
I'll be fine.

[domainless]

Just because that happened doesn't mean you should become someone's slave Jon!

Why would you suggest that?!

[compellingstatement]

I don't know!
He has a hanging swing in room he had me stay in last time.
I liked using it while I was reading.

[He'd sort of enjoyed being ordered around and lightly teased and disciplined, as well, but Jon doesn't know how to articulate that without it sounding peculiar.]

I can't take it back now.
He's a changeling.
It was a pledge, and he'll have to retaliate if I break my promise.

[domainless]

Jon you have so much money here and you could install a swing in our bedroom if you wanted!

Are you sure he's not just saying that to intimidate you into agreeing to things like this?

[compellingstatement]

I'm not wasting money on a swing, Martin.
Don't be ridiculous.

[Unless Martin wanted a swing... Jon could justify that to himself much more easily.]

And he's not intimidating me.
If anything, he has more reason to be afraid of me than I do of him.
If you're really that worried, you can talk to him about it.
His name is Jamie, and he goes by 'flower' on the network.

[domainless]

Jon, you aren't exactly paying London rents right now. Or struggling in any way. I think you can get a swing if you like it.


[Jon is allowed to have things he likes.]

Maybe I will. Talk to him I mean.

And you're too- you take too much on your own shoulders.

[compellingstatement]

[Jon doesn't respond to the swing comment. It feels far too self-indulgent to purchase something like that. He might not be struggling now, but things in Duplicity are rarely stable.]

You know better than most people what it's like for my victims.
How destructive constant nightmares can be.
'Too much' is never going to be enough.

[domainless]

[Well, Martin is definitely getting Jon a swing now.]

I know, I know what happens. But it doesn't mean that you have to constantly put yourself through hell to stone for things.