domainless | Duplicity Inbox

[Why should Peter be the only one to suffer Jon's sleep-deprived, 3 AM musings while stuck in jail? When there's not an immediate response from the older man, Jon texts Martin, as well.]

Do you like piercings or tattoos?
I've been thinking it might be interesting if you picked something like that out for me.
Georgie always told me I'd look good with earrings.
And I've got these eyes all over my arm now.
They're not particularly professional, though, are they?

[He has been fretting. His boyfriend is in prison and Martin is so worried. He picks up the text convinced it's going to be some terrible news and instead it's-]

Jon? Jon are you okay?

Are you... did they drug you?

I ask you about piercings and suddenly I've been drugged?
Honestly.
I'm fine.
I'd be fine if this place wasn't hellish to try to sleep in.
I've seen spiders in the cell.
More than one.

It's not exactly something I would expect you to ask me about. Especially not at 3am!

Are they... normal spiders?

No.
Maybe.

I don't know.

I can feel them watching me.

[He is severely sleep-deprived and may be hallucinating just a bit, as well.]

Can you just stare back at them? Pretty sure your stare is more powerful than theirs Mr Avatar of Ceaseless Watching.

Obviously I can stare at them, Martin.
Doesn't exactly help with sleeping, does it?

I used to have nightmares about them when I was a kid.
Crawling into my eyes while I was asleep.

Well that's horrible.

I'm sorry you had nightmares like that.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Not particularly.

[It's not helpful.]

I don't know.
See if we have any Statements about prison spiders that have come in tomorrow?
In the morning.
The proper morning.

I can do that. I can head over to the Archive now if you want? Not like I'm asleep anyway.

[Selfishly, Jon would like Martin to do that very much.]

You shouldn't pick up my bad habits.
Why are you even awake?

I woke you up.
I'm sorry.

Edited 2021-05-07 23:41 (UTC)

It's fine.

I don't really sleep that well a lot of the time anyway. And it's harder when I'm on my own.

[Guilt claws at him, knowing he's making Martin suffer.]

Could you sleep with someone else?
Tim or Sasha, maybe?
Morrigan's nice, as well.
I'm sure he'd say yes.
Have you made many friends here, yet?

Edited 2021-05-07 23:58 (UTC)

I'm not calling your boyfriend at 3am just because I'm not sleeping well.

It's fine. I'm fine.

And I- I don't need anyone else, okay?

Martin.

It's okay to have other people.
You know that, right?
I want to be there for you, but you're allowed to let yourself have friends.
God knows being with me and the apocalypse hasn't exactly given you the chance.
Take advantage of the change while you can.

[It takes a while to reply because he knows that logically. He does. It just doesn't feel right. Not for him.]

You're not the problem Jon.

I'm just not- not good friend material, okay? It doesn't work.

Considering you've been an amazing friend to me?
That seems difficult to believe.
You take care of people, Martin.
You're thoughtful and generous.
You try to do the right thing, even when it's difficult.
That seems good enough as a starting point.

You had baggage weighing you down at home, commitments you couldn't get out of.
It's not the same here.
You're not bound to the Institute.
The world isn't imminently doomed or already ended.
I have enough money to pay for the basics.
I know you're still a Sub and this place is awful, but we can change our contract however you'd like to try to make things better and easier for you.

It didn't save anyone though. Not in the end. None of it did.

There's nothing wrong with the contract Jon. Really. It's me.

[This isn't a conversation he should be having when so severely sleep-deprived. But it would seem they're going to have it.]

I should have told you I appreciated your tea more, you know?
The extra work you put in.
I did, but I hardly ever said it.
What you do might not be saving worlds, but you've made me happy.
You've made my life easier, and something I want to keep living.
I think you could do that for other people.
That would be enough, right?

[It hurts to hear it, although not necessarily in a bad way. It hurts like lancing a wound, but also like a bone deep ache because Jon deserved better. He'd always deserved to have things that made him happy. Just being made tea shouldn't be a big deal.]

It sounds nice Jon but- I don't even know where to start. This is the most people I've interacted with in years honestly.

The Institute really did a number on us all.

It did.
I'm sorry, Martin.

What can I do to help?

It's fine. I'm fine, really.

And besides, you're kind of stuck in a prison cell. Shouldn't I be the one trying to help you?

You're not fine.
I'm just stuck in jail.
Do you need me to introduce you to people?

Oh god that just makes me feel like a charity case. Or like- like I'm moving to a new school and have to introduce myself to the whole class.

Martin, I want to introduce you to my friends.

un: thearchivist; text

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cw: arachnophobia, body horror

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